OH MY GOD I FOUND COCO PERU IN A MOVIE ON NETFLIX IT’S CALLED GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS AND IT’S THE MOST MARVELOUS THING I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON. COCO I LOVE YOU.
I want to cosplay Team Rocket in shitty disguises with someone o3o
NAGISA: Ah! Rei-chan, over here!
REI: [runs up] Sorry to keep you waiting, Nagisa-kun! I’m so ashamed to be 3 minutes late for our meeting time.
NAGISA: Hehe, it’s okay. I just got here myself.
REI: Where are Haruka-senpai and the others?
NAGISA: Surprisingly not here yet…
REI: That’s odd. We’re supposed to meet in front of the station plaza at 11, aren’t we?
NAGISA: Right. [takes out cellphone] We’re supposed to meet here at 11 so we can all go to the sports shop and buy swimsui— AHHHHHHH!
REI: W—What’s wrong?
NAGISA: I’m sorry, Rei-chan! I made a mistake! We’re supposed to be meeting at 1!
NAGISA: But I guess it’s better than being late.
REI: You have a point but… What do we do for the next two hours?
NAGISA: Let’s just pick a place and idle away there.
REI: Time isn’t meant to be idled. That’s why we have the saying “time is money”!
NAGISA: You sound like Ama-chan-sensei.
NAGISA: Then where can we spend 2 hours of our time in a worthwhile way? Hmmm… I know! Let’s go there!
x x x
[NAGISA and REI walk inside their destination]
REI: A—A karaoke place?
NAGISA: Yep! It’s 150 yen per hour for one person and you can sing as much as you want! The drinks are charged separately though.
REI: [awed] This is a karaoke bar…
NAGISA: Eh? Rei-chan, have you never been to karaoke before?
REI: I—Is that so wrong? I just happen to not have been given the opportunity…
NAGISA: Hmm, you’re a rare specimen among modern high schoolers.
REI: Is that so?
NAGISA: But I’m glad. This means I get to be witness to your first time at karaoke. I’ll teach you all sorts of stuff. This is the remote control, and this is the mic.
REI: I can tell that much on my own. And I never said that I was going to sing.
NAGISA: Ehh, don’t say that! I really like your voice, Rei-chan!
REI: ………I—I think it’s a normal voice………
NAGISA: That’s not true! I really want to hear you sing!
NAGISA: I want to hear you siiiiiing! [NAGISA nudges his head into REI’s side]
REI: ………Stop that………
NAGISA: I’m sure that you have a beautiful singing voice…
REI: Beautiful… you say? [smiles] Well, while it is my first time at karaoke, I have knowledge more or less on the study of vocal music. Very well. As my first time at karaoke, I will grace your ears with my captivating voice!
NAGISA: Wow! I can’t wait! [claps]
REI: Let me choose a song first…
NAGISA: Before you do that, let’s choose drinks. Rei-chan, which do you want? [NAGISA flips through the electronic menu]
REI: T—This whole list is the drink selection?!
NAGISA: Yep. Let me see, I think I’ll have this “Youthful Bewitching Strawberry Cream Soda.” What about you, Rei-chan?
REI: U—Um, well…
NAGISA: Hurry up or we won’t have as much time left to sing!
REI: Just give me a second! (This seasonal limited edition “100% Hand-Squeezed Watermelon Juice” seems interesting… but maybe that’s too adventurous. Should I choose this Nakagawa family’s Specialty 60% Apple Pear Juice instead? But why is it only 60%? What happened to the other 40%?)
NAGISA: Rei-chan, you’re too slow! I’m going to order first! [NAGISA presses the remote control] Done!
REI: You can also use that remote control to order drinks?!
NAGISA: That’s right. I bet you want this “Good Ol’Fashioned Barley Tea” so I’ll order that for you and DONE!
REI: Wait, Nagisa-kun! Don’t choose for me! And of all the drinks, you chose normal barley tea!
NAGISA: But you looked like you were going to take your time. Never mind that, what do you want to sing? What kind of songs do you like, Rei-chan?
REI: I pretty much listen to any kind of music. I’m able to get by singing something that I’ve heard once before. Let’s see now… [REI looks through the electronic list] Uh, they’re all songs I’ve never heard of. “I Scream Most for Your Love?”
NAGISA: What is that, an old song?
REI: Come to think of it, I think my dad once listened to a song with this title on the radio… Maybe I’ll be able to sing it.
NAGISA: Sing it, sing it! I want to hear Rei-chan’s love song!
REI: Very well! Listen in ecstasy to my voice! [REI clicks and waits] …Huh? It’s not starting.
NAGISA: I wonder what’s wrong. Maybe the lines are jammed from too much traffic.
REI: Then I’ll put in the next song while we wait. Um… [REI looks through the list] Ah, I know this one! “Catch-You With Love and Courage”! It’s a classic! The one that goes “In the end, love and courage will bring victory!” [REI enters the song] …Hmm?
NAGISA: It’s still not starting…
REI: Then what about this one? “Very Very Happy Berry.” It sounds like a recent song. [click] “UnmiSTEAKen Unrequited Love.” [click] “Kiss Me Curray-zee.” [click] “You’re SO BAd So Spicy.”
NAGISA: …Eh? Soba’s so spicy? …Ah! Let me have a look at the remote control screen, Rei-chan!
REI: Maybe it’s broken? None of the songs are starting at all.
NAGISA: That’s not it, Rei-chan! You were choosing from the food menu!
NAGISA: Ice cream with all the toppings, katsudon cooked with egg in soup stock, parfait with three different kinds of berries, steak, curry, and soba noodles!
REI: Why did they give their food such misleading names?! This means I ordered all of that food?!
x x x
NAGISA: It was a bit too much to eat, but they were all surprisingly delicious!
REI: My stomach is in pain… But more importantly, will we be able to afford all this?
NAGISA: Since we were going to buy swimsuits, I brought big bills with me, so we’re okay. Let’s pull ourselves back together and sing!
REI: You’re right. Okay… this time, I won’t make the same mistake again… [clicks] Hm? This is…
NAGISA: What’s the matter?
REI: Could this option here that says “Scoring” be…?
NAGISA: Yeah, that’s the option you can turn on to score how well you sang.
REI: This… This is the karaoke scoring program that I’ve heard so much about?! [clicks] Hey, it has a history of the group who used this room before us. They got pretty high points!
NAGISA: Wow, you’re right! 92 points… Mikoshiba Seijuurou…
REI: Eh? Mikoshiba… The one from Samezuka…?
NAGISA: It’s the captain!
REI: He used his real, full name in a place like this… Well, it’s definitely something he would do…
NAGISA: Then could this “Nitorin” underneath his name be Ai-chan?!
REI: 89 points! It looks like he sang a pop song from a Showa era idol group!
NAGISA: …Ooh! Then is this “RIN-RIN” underneath his name Rin-chan?!
REI: 75 points… He may be amazing at swimming, but he lost to his junior at singing…
NAGISA: Poor Rin-chan… I know, Rei-chan! Sing an awesome song and beat the captain and Ai-chan with a snap to win the top score!
REI: Very well! I will vindicate Rin-san’s honor and grab the title of number one for him! If I think about this logically, the best way to achieve a high score would be to choose a song that has the least singing range. Which means… let me see… [clicks] Not this song. Not this one either. Not this one… [REI keeps clicking]
x x x
[REI is still clicking through songs]
NAGISA: [sighs] Rei-chan, have you decided yet?
REI: Wait for a bit! I’m almost ready!
NAGISA: You look like you’re going to take some time with this, so can I sing first?
REI: Now wait a minute! I’m choosing my commemorative first song for my first time at karaoke, and you want to disregard that to sing yourself?! [still clicking] Ah! I know this song! The range is perfect for me, too! This is the one!
NAGISA: Then punch it in, quickly!
REI: Okay! Let me see now…… !!!
NAGISA: Hm? What’s wrong?
REI: What… is this option over here?
NAGISA: Oh, that’s a service that allows you to record the songs you sing onto a CD that you can take home.
REI: What?! I can put my song onto a CD?! So it’s like how we record our swimming practices onto video, we can use this CD to check our singing voices, right?! That’s magnificent! I definitely want to try that! [clicks] Hm? What is this option?
NAGISA: Oh, that’s the One-Man Harmony option.
REI: What?! You can even harmonize the entire song all on your own?! I must try that as well! [clicks] Huh? Wait… the One-Man Harmony option isn’t available for the song that I chose… That means I’ll have to choose another song… Um… [clicking] Hm? I—I found another new option! Voice Effect!
NAGISA: Rei-chan, are you done yet?
REI: Just a second! Um… Oh, but, Voice Effect does sound nice, but is it a good idea to process what is originally my beautiful, natural singing voice through machinery? Wouldn’t someone with a truly beautiful singing voice compete by using only his natural voice? Hm? This chorus option here just might help to excite the mood so that I can sing with my natural voice as if I were a real pro without having to resort to Voice Effect…!
[NAGISA yawns and falls over]
REI: Hey, Nagisa-kun! Don’t fall asleep on my lap! Nagisa-kun!!
REI: Oh, honestly, are you a child? [sighs and laughs] Well, we did practice until late yesterday and then had to wake up early this morning. [REI pats Nagisa’s forehead] But…
NAGISA: [mumbles] Rei-chan…
REI: [giggles] I’m not able to sing now with you this way, you know…
Translations of the song names were changed a bit to fit with the food puns they contained. The literal translations are:
(1) “Dare yori mo kimi wo AISU” (I love you more than anyone; ice cream)
(2) “Ai to yuuki de KATSU” (Win with love and courage; katsudon which is pork cutlets on rice)
(3) “Berry berry happy berry” (self-explanatory title; Triple berry)
(4) “SUTEEKI na kataomoi” (A wonderful unrequited love; steak)
(5) “KAREI ni Kiss Me” (Kiss Me majestically; curry)
(6) “Anata no SOBA ni YAKUMI ga kirari” (Spices sparkle beside you; soba noodles)
when someone walks into a room where you are playing piano and they are very surprised to see you playing the piano